What Does Spiritual Awakening Mean For You?

What does spiritual awakening mean for you, when you try to piece together information on the internet? Your not alone, if you are feeling confused, even overwhelm, especially if this is new to you.

You were happily doing the 9-5 routine, everything in life was going somewhat in order then, bang everything felt fake and disjointed. You had a routine of coming home from work, eating dinner, watching TV... Floating along, then something happened for or to you and you started to question everything you were told you were.

We all play different roles in life... Mother, daughter, father, son, wife, husband etc and as we grew up through childhood we were given “role models” of what these characters looked and acted like. We were given different ones from loving, difficult, stressful, kind, each one a character. As Shakespeare said “All the worlds a stage, and all the men and women merely players” We are like white boards, being filled with words, emotions, feelings, coloured ink imprinting onto us of what we should think, say and feel. Some of it gets wiped away, but leaving tiny traces of dots of ink behind in our personalities. That which is left behind shapes our adult personality, but when we go into our spiritual awakening, it gives us a chance to step back and scrutinize our “white board”. We see aspects that feel fake, we question is this how I really feel or is this something that was imprinted into me? We are so conditioned with the imprint, we don't see it for what it truly is, and so we carry this baggage of fake emotions and feelings that don't feel like us, but we've been told is us.

Spiritual awakening gives us a chance to step back, wipe the board clean and start afresh. How many times have you heard someone say “I don't what happened to her/him! They have changed and I don't understand it!” of course they don't they are still carrying their old white board around with them, not wiping anything off it, just scribbling over the old words and adding to it, so much so it can look like a jumbled mess. You, however, said “Enough! I'm done with this. Clean slate!” We start to delve deep to see what resonates with us still and what doesn't. We are told this stage is tough, it's difficult sifting through these emotions and feelings as we allow what doesn't truly belong to us fall away. This is Shadow Work” but as we start to go through it, we feel lighter, less burdened as we drop the fake baggage. We see people around us in a different light, we question their intentions, motives and actions.

This happened to me, as I started to allow clarity to step forward, I suddenly saw my mother in a completely different light and realized that through out my life I had created excuses for her, including the old standby statement of “But you don't understand, she's my mother!” when anyone tried to shine a light on the narcissist abuse, as I carried on my healing journey, the word Narcissist starting flashing like a red neon light! As I was going through my shadow work, wiping away all the words that had been imprinted on my white board, this red neon sign was one of the hardest to ignore. I dived deep into and decided not to just wipe it off my board, but to get some cream cleanser and scrub that red off!

In 2012, I went No Contact with my mother, only calling her once since for 30 minutes to offer her my condolences when my father passed away. She shouted at me throughout the whole call, but this time, I didn't sink into tears, I felt calm and empathy for her. She had moved on since my father had fallen ill, 14 years before, putting him into a long term nursing home. After being married for 45 years. she had moved on within months to someone new. No judgment, everyone is different, see? But I didn't want this being placed on my white board for me to carry. I didn't want to feel guilt, shame and so many negative feelings. I wanted to move on, forgive and just let it be. This baggage she carried wasn't mine to hold as well. This is not being uncaring, I care, I just refuse to carry the burden. Some may say this is being selfish, it isn't, if we carry too many burdens that are not ours, then we can't move ahead.

When we awake, spiritually and start to cleanse our white board, we see people, situations in a different. My mother still carries her red neon sign with her, that's her, I don't have to help her prop it up. Like when Neo in the Matrix is offered the red or blue pill, it's the same do you want clarity and be true to the new you or stay where you are. Do you want to deeply understand what makes you genuinely you? Or are you happy living a persona of what we are told to be?

There is no one size fits all in your spiritual journey. You are totally unique, there is not one single person on this planet that is your total duplicate and that's what make your spiritual journey unique to you! This is what the spiritual journey means for you, to discover triggers and patterns that are not yours, but what society tried to embed into you. I have journeyed through some intense traumatizing situations, one very nearly end my life. I sank into victim mentality for many years, declaring “But you don't understand!” Now I say, this is what happened. I carried the heavy burden of guilt, of feeling betrayed, of intense anger like a fire burning within. I decided it was too much to haul around with me, the fire wasn't doing me any good, it was just burning away any positive trying to make it's way into my heart. I dropped the bags of guilt and betrayal, put out the fire and replaced it emotions that felt more aligned with me, love, compassion and peace. I have my moments like anyone does, even gurus, but the aim to balance the yin with the Yang, the light with the dark, for it is here that we discover our own wavering balance, it is never a true balance, magi, gurus and magicians can't ever be truly balanced or we would be like Enoch, becoming a guardian to many in a different dimension! We are here, learning to live our most abundant life in the physical world.

Let me know in the comments how you are doing on your spiritual awakening journey,

Love & Peace,

Claire